Petals from a Dying Rose

BY: Lorelei Hanbery

Petals from a dying rose

a small bud spRouts above the ground
no face, no name
no lips capable of making sound
days turn into weeks, weeks to months
a rose blOoms, its petals dwindle quickly
a result of your shunts
they continue to fall
a life led for such little time
Suddenly beginning to drawl
as it lays in its soil bEd
what was once considered beauty
now cold and dead

 

We bleed the same

We bleed the same blood yet theirs is the one currently being spilt upon gravel
We breathe the same air yet they are forced to choke on smoke
We walk on the same earth yet your view of them is different than your view of me

We are both living
Breathing
Walking
Bleeding
yet you value one life over the other?

If you looked inside our souls would you see a difference?
Would you see two people with hopes, with dreams, with families?
Two Moms.
Two dads.
A sibling or two.

What determines the worth of a person?
What determines the value of their life?

Have you seen their struggles?
What is hidden behind the censorship show you created?
Do you care?
Do you feel any sort of remorse for the pain you inflict?
Two hearts, beating the same, suddenly sound different to you?

How many burdens must they carry before you finally open the eyes you glued shut?

Your ignorance blinds you.
You desire perfection.

Perfection in your eyes is a world free of difference.
Free of love.
Free of culture.
Free of freedom.
Free of wonder.
Free of being.

How much pain will you inflict on the innocent to get what you want?
How many wars must be started?
How many families must be torn?
How much hate must be spread?
How many lives must be lost for you to finally open your eyes, once blind, to see all of the beauty you have destroyed?

Is this what you wanted?

The gravel we both walk on will never be clean of the blood spilt by your hands.
The same blood that could have been mine.

 

Mask

What am I to you?

Sure you greeted me in the morning but would you listen to me at night?

When I’m vulnerable?

When I’m the one who’s hurting?

I’m sure it’s convenient for you

To be there, only when you’re the one who needs me

Don’t pretend you know me

Don’t pretend you care

I don’t want that, I never did

My masks, all hung up on one wall

Did you ever care to look?

To try to understand?

You see through a lens blurred by you own stupidity

Your own ignorance to other people’s hardships

You don’t see me

To you I might as well be invisible

The many masks I wear on my face

You can’t even spot the difference

I know what you are to me

What am I to you?

 

Would you still love me?

Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Would you still love me if I didn’t have hair?

Would you still love me without makeup?

Would you still love me if I was more?

Would you still love me if I was less?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t speak?

Would you still love me if I spoke too much?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t remember who you were?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t walk?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t touch you?

Would you still love me when I get old?

Would you still love me when life gets hard?

Would you still love me if I couldn’t hear your voice?

Would you still love me if I was broken?

Would you still love me if I was short or fat or long or wide?

Would you still love me at my worst?

Like you love me when I’m at my best?

 

I never liked hospitals

I never liked hospitals.
It’s so busy, yet quiet at the same time.
I never liked the quiet. She didn’t care much for it either.

I see my dad with my mom, my cousin looks away in tears.
There are these constant voices at my side, all telling me it’s gonna be okay.
But it’s not.

I can’t hear what they’re saying over the sound of my own heartbeat.
Getting louder and louder as her’s begins to go silent.
I go silent too.

The voices that once told me everything was gonna be okay are gone.
All I can hear is that alarm.
The alarm and my heart beat the same as I slowly come to the realization that she’s gone.

I keep trying to tell myself this is all some horrible dream but I can’t.
She’s gone.

She’s really gone.

I’ll never get to see her again.
I’ll never get to hug her again.
We’ll never get to talk about our hopes and dreams for the future.
She’ll never see me graduate, or get married.

Her house doesn’t feel the same without her in it.
All of her things are there, but she isn’t.

There are so many things I still wanted to do with her.
I should’ve called, should’ve checked in on her more, like she would always do for me.

The whole family is here for her
it’s the only thing she ever wanted
and she can’t even be here to experience it.

I’ve never been to a funeral before.
I don’t like those either

 

What even is poetry anyways?

What even is poetry anyways?
That’s what we’re writing?
Sitting down for hours, constantly typing?

How am I supposed to find that many words that rhyme?
Like what about the word telephone?
blown, loan, hydromorphone

Okay those were bad examples
How about a concierge?
Yeah I’m sure you don’t have any prepared

Dang it that worked too
Yes I know not all poems need to rhyme
But I think is sounds a lot more in time

So I hope you enjoyed my tiny rant
I apologize if my words came out in a low hum
Maybe I can, in fact, write a poem

 

Alone

I stare and stare
One bed, one desk, one closet
These walls, once covered, now empty and bare

It almost makes me sad
I used to like the quiet
Yet without you I’m suddenly bothered by it

I shout and shout
My words sink into the silence
Now there’s nothing coming out

I said goodbye but you couldn’t hear me
I didn’t see you leave
Your loss left a hole in me too hard to grieve

I used to like being alone
No people, no talking
Just me and a book or phone

Tears start to form around my tired eyes
Emotions weigh on my shoulders that I now have to bore
I don’t think I like being alone anymore

 

Sonder

In quiet moments, shadows drift and fade,
A whisper echoes—each life a woven braid.
Faces in the crowd, unseen, unknown,
Their stories hidden, seeds unsewn.

A stranger’s glance, a silent, fleeting spark,
A universe of dreams within the dark.
We are islands, adrift in vast, unseen seas,
Bound by quiet sonder—our shared mysteries.

In every smile, in every tear’s silent fall,
Lies a world unseen—so fragile, so tall.
A gentle reminder—each soul holds a story,
Infinite, complex, woven with silent glory.

 

I can’t find the words

I can’t describe it
words that once came easy to me
Now bit by bit
they begin to flee

Sentences already used
wind up in the trash
Now worn and abused
as fire burns them to ash

The more I try and try
Words become lost to the storm in my head
Unable to see with the naked eye
Stops all movement of my lead

In the silent pause between thought and speech,
like trying to hold a whisper in your hand,
a fragile ache—words out of reach,
lost in a vast, uncharted land.

My heart longs to speak, to truly convey,
But nothing is left
my words stumble and drift away,
Leaving behind an vast, empty cleft

 

Wildflower

When they began to name the flowers,
All had a name but one
They all turned, looking up at the sun

The sun sat there, puzzled
unsure of a name
It couldn’t be similar, or sound the same

Tulips, Lilies, Carnations
Sunflowers and Roses
One flower sits alone as she waits to be chosen

Then the little flower jumped up
When the sun looked away
He turned back around, it’s not time to play

Then a name popped into the suns head
when she jumped onto the bower
A perfectly fitting name for such a wildflower

 

That kind of warmth

She was always warm

The kind of warmth you experience when you hug that friend you haven’t seen in a long time

Or when a dog falls asleep in your lap

She was always full of energy

The kind of energy you feel when you play your favorite game

Or when you get a high score on a hard test

She always had a smile on her face

The kind you see when you compliment a strangers outfit

Or when a groom sees his bride

I see her as I watch the sunset set over the horizon

I feel her whenever I look up at the green leaves on tree branches

I hear her in the songs we used to listen to together

Its like shes still here

Like this is her way of showing me that no matter where I am

Or where I go

I will always feel her warmth

 

Body

My eyes used to glow and shine
before you came
and stole what was mine

My lips, soft, moldable like clay,
shaped into the words
I never wanted to say

My skin is paper for you to bend and fold and rip
Your fingerprints stain my flesh
The more you touch the more I slip

My soul, once alive with hope in silent streams,
Now torn and bruised
Echos my now crushed dreams

My body, a tree sprouting fruits,
You picked till I was bare
Before stripping my bark back down to its roots

A body that was once mine
You bought for a price
That cost less than a dime

A vessel I once used to own
I am no longer able
to call my home

 

What I need to hear

My love language is words of affirmation
I want to know if you love me
not to beg, nor is it a plea

I need to know if im enough
If i’m too much or too little
Without clarification my thoughts start to dwindle

I need to know my worth means something
If its vast and true
If I am a gift to the world and to you

You call me overdramatic
You say you love me, that should be enough
But what if it’s untrue? What if you bluff?

If it’s true our gentle love will never cease
With every breath you must promise me this
to nurture, honor, and love me with bliss

 

I am gonna grow wings

I am gonna grow wings
And fly far away where sun never dies
and the songbird always sings

Where the grass grows tall
An the buds are always green
I am no longer caught within your drawl

My wings keep me high above the ground
Never once do I look back,
I am not looking to be found

No matter where you look
you won’t be able to find me
I am writing the next chapter of my own book

So when the sun sets
Above the calm waves at sea
when at last I can relax and fress

A gentle breeze grazes my face
As my feathers hit the soft gentle brome
there’s finally a place
to call my home

 

Siren

In moonlit depths where shadows dwell,
A siren sings her haunting spell.
Her voice, a whisper, soft yet deep,
Lures sailors to their silent sleep.

With eyes like stars, both fierce and kind,
She beckons hearts, unbound, unconfined.
A melody of longing, pain, and grace,
Entwined within her oceanic embrace.

Beware the call that charms your soul,
For beauty’s song can make you whole —
Or drown you in the dark abyss,
A siren’s kiss, a deadly bliss.

 

It was the damn phones

My parents were right
It was the damn phones
they don’t create, they destroy
only capable of producing clones

I see bodies carved out of data
and molded with lies
These words hide the truth
They wear a disguise

Kids, all growing up too fast
A childhood, stripped too soon
Parents pick them like flowers,
their petals callously strewn

I want to say something
But I can’t leave the app
Attachment holds my back
I too am caught within this trap

All my friends like me
Or at least they used to
The bright screen traps us all
Like flies stuck in glue

They judge, picking my life apart
till there’s nothing left to pick
I didn’t mean to scroll this far
I didn’t ask to see your dick

Addiction and fear
Two of many things holding me back
From digging out of this rabbit hole
Where i’ll no longer have to put on an act